Wellness. It’s the buzzword of the moment. It’s another thing on the endless To Do list, consisting of meditation, matcha tea, crystals, and clean eating, among other things (brushing your teeth with charcoal, anyone?).

As I am currently training to become a Holistic Health Coach, I am fully immersed in health and wellness trends. I am also glimpsing the massive marketing machine driving it all. I would love to say that Wellness isn’t an industry but it is a rapidly expanding, booming one. And, even more disturbing, Wellness is becoming it’s own status symbol. Is it possible that Wellness has contributed to Un-Wellness?

Fad diets and eating and health trends are nothing new. Over the last twenty-plus years, I have tried every single diet out there from Weight Watchers to Atkins to Paleo. I did Taebo and Cindy Crawford workouts in my parents’ basement. I am a dream consumer for the companies that advertise ideal healthy lives and beautiful clean bodies. Whether it’s an herbal elixir or a wellness ritual or detoxifying workout, I am probably going to try it.

It’s enough to drive a lady mad.

I have begun to question this Wellness trend, even as I dive deeper into health and nutrition. One of the ways I have done this is having a coach of my own. Through my work with her (and in psychotherapy), I have began to notice how my perfectionism ensnares my interest in health and wholeness. Suddenly, I am not working out because I feel better, but rather because in my version of Ideal: a woman works out. Suddenly, quite without my noticing, I am back on the hamster wheel of black-and-white, good/bad thinking. I am Well or NotWell. There is no in-between.

How do we step off of it? How do we begin to think about food and nourishing ourselves when everything we eat is possibly contributing to our demise or success?

Like everything else, it requires attention and intention. What we eat and how we use our bodies (or not) are some the most powerful choices we make in a day. We literally make thousands of small decisions about food and movement in a day. We do these mostly without thinking too hard. But if we can become intentional about our movement and food choices we gain freedom. We find our power and our truth. We step off the hamster wheel and into ourselves.

For the truth is, there is no right way to eat. Each person is unique and requires different nourishment, even from day to day. Foods are not inherently bad or good, but exist on a spectrum. We make moral judgements about ourselves and each other based on the kind of food we eat. We need to stop this. It only gets us back on the wheel in the cage, where eating becomes a stress-filled, guilt-laden activity, untethered to our nourishment. We may binge eat or drink in response to the daily pressures of our lives. And, that is most definitely not wellness.

I propose we replace Wellness with Wholeness. We look our at ourselves honestly and live with intention. One way to do this is to pay close attention to how you feel when you eat and move and the cues you give yourself. Eating with intention takes practice. And, it’s messy. But I promise you will begin to shift the way you view yourself, for we know the body and mind are not separate but connected. It is possible to eat well enough, enjoy our food and nourish ourselves, free from perfectionism or guilt. Wholeness isn’t a destination or a place to be reached. It is the vehicle through which we live meaningful lives and discover ourselves. And, that is worth working toward. Matcha tea optional.

Lilah Wise is a Tide Riser and serves as the President of the Board of Trustees of the Lilah Hilliard Fisher Foundation.

Confessions of a Wellness Junkie